My Project 35 minus One just started on Monday. I am now 34 years old. Like I have had said before I know I am not the man that God has called me to be. There are several reasons for this but it is mostly because I am always coming up with excuses on why I am not that man. To be honest I guess I am a sheep. I have been waiting for other people in my life to step up and become great leaders for God so I can than follow them. The funny thing is I have been watching these people and have become critical because they have not lived up to their own potential. And it has bothered me significantly because they haven't lived up to that potential. I have been waiting for them to become great men or women for God and then for them to motivate me or to led me to be the same.On Monday morning while I was running I was thinking about this. I was thinking about how I have been waiting for years for these people to step up and become great leaders. Why have I been waiting for them to become "today's David"? As I was running I started to think that maybe I am the one who is suppose to lead them to become closer to God. Maybe I am the one who is going to lead them to stop clinching so tightly to the world. I am the one who is called to be "today's David". I think I have known this for some time but I haven't acted upon it.I am handing my life over to the Holy Spirit to transform into this man. I know it is going to be hard but I think that once I myself have stopped clinging to the world I will find that living fully devoted to God will be much more fulfilling. The Crashing Giants blog will be my journey into becoming the man God has called me to be. I will try to blog every Wednesday on my latest journey. Each week I will read at least 1 book in the Bible and I will let you know about any verses that have really jumped out at me. I will also let you know what the Holy Spirit has been saying to me lately.I hope to see you here next Wednesday.Heavenly Father, help me become the man you want me to be. Lord allow me to always put your interests and goals in front of my own selfish needs. Allow me to become a great spiritual leader in my house. To become a husband that is always thinking about his wife's needs instead of own. A father that is always there for his children and a father that is teaching his children about you. Bless me in everything I do Lord and continue to shower me with your love. Amen.

Upcoming Year 34 Project

I know I haven't written for a very long time. This of course for a few reasons. The first reason is I usually think about blogs that I should write while I am driving my car and then I completely forget that the blog even exists as soon as I leave the car. The second reason is I am not really crashing any giants these days. I still am not the man I want to be or even close to the man I should be. I don't even know if I am on the right path. The good news is I have a new crazy and wild idea about the blog. Of course like all of my other ideas this will never come to fruitation. And of course this whole idea was started from Amy and I seeing Julie and Julia last Friday.

So my idea is called Year 34. That is because I turn 34 in 2 and half weeks. The new blog idea (if I do it) will start then. See you on Sept 7.

Instincts

A few weeks ago I was sitting in church watching Paul sing during offertory. As I watched him I became amazed on how he can play the guitar so well as the same time that he sang so well. Too me, someone with no music talent, this is an awesome feat. I couldn't understand how someone could move their hands that fast and sing at the same time without messing up. I was thinking that you would have to think about where to move your hands for each note plus at the same time try to remember the lyrics for the song.

I was thinking about this last week when I was driving to a meeting on the other side of town. As I was driving I started to realize that I no longer really think about how to drive. My body just drives the car. My right foot knows how much pressure to put on the pedal to accelarate or to brake. My body also automatically adjusts this pressure when I switch from my car to Amy's car. My instincts take over when I drive.

When I first started to drive 18 years ago I had to think about it every time I moved those pedals or moved the steering wheel. But after a while the instincts took over.
Almost everything we do in our life is the same way. If it is either playing the guitar or driving a car after we do it enough our bodies instincts take over. Our Christian life is the same. It is very difficult chasing God and trying to crash giants down when the world is constantly throwing temptations our way. The world is always trying to trick us into loving it instead of God. Like Matthew 6:24 tells us we can't serve two masters. If our focus is on worldly things we can not also focus on God at the same time. So here is the key - start living your life today for God. Every decision you make you don’t allow your instincts to take over but instead thinking the decisions through and make decisions on what will bringing you closer to God. I believe this will be hard at first but after a while these decisions will become your instincts.

I recently wrote this to a friend who is facing a trial right now. But I thought I would include this in my blog because the Israelites in the story of David and Goliath have been on my mind lately. I think it is a different perspective on that story that we all need to look at. It is a story that all of need to be reminded about. God is there for us and is always crashing giants in our lives.

So here is my take on David vs Goliath:

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about David in the Bible. I have been really fascinated with the whole David and Goliath story. David and Goliath is one of the first stories I remember learning about back when we went to Beacon. Because of that it is a story I very seldom think about. But the other day I started to think about the Israelites in the story. For 40 days Goliath came out and taunted them to challenge him. Goliath was over 9 feet tall so there was no chance that any of the Israelites could beat him in a fight and in fact maybe besides for Samson no man either before that time or after that time could beat Goliath in a fight.

For the Israelites there was not much hope. They knew that either one of them would be stupid enough to fight Goliath (and lose) or that the Philistines would grow impatient and attack. They knew that they were going to most likely die, that their wives and daughters were probably going to be raped and murdered and that all of their possessions and everything they loved would be lost to the Philistines.

Their only hope was in God. They hoped that God will cause an earthquake to kill the Philistines or maybe a horrible storm could do the trick. They hoped that God will send angels to fight for them or maybe God himself would crush the Philistines with His own hand. But instead God sent the most unlikely solution to defeating Goliath, a boy. Can you imagine how horrible it had to be to be an Israelite and watch David walk up there to fight Goliath. They all had to know that they were done for. What was King Saul thinking to send a boy to fight for them? But when all hope was gone God sent a very unlikely solution to save them. And then Goliath crashed to the ground. Why? Because even though they didn't deserve it, God loved the Israelites.

God has been crashing giants for me my entire life. Even though I am very much like the Israelites He still loves me. We should never feel like any situation is hopeless. God please help me to be giant killer and to always know you are with me when I face those giants.

The first step

I am always thinking about changing myself. I am always telling my wife that there is going to be a new me, or that I am going to start doing this or that. But I rarely ever change.

I am just not very happy with myself. I love my wife and kids, I love being a husband and father. But besides for that I am not too happy with myself. I love the fact that I have a job but I really don't like my job. I really don't like too many of my traits and faults. I don't like the fact that I have very few friends and none of them I would even consider close friends. I don't like my hobbies. I don't like how lazy I am.

I also don't like that I feel like Ryan Leaf most of the time. I feel that God had big plans for me but I either didn't follow through with those plans or just didn't hear Him when he told me what He wanted me to do. I also hate that I feel like there is too few of examples out there of Godly men.

I know that I am not an example of a Godly man. And I have no idea why I am not. I have every reason to be fully devoted to Him but I have always held back. Why? I have complete faith in Him. I have seen, touched, and heard Him! I have felt His love throughout my entire life but I have still not shown Him the love back that He deserves.

That is why I am starting my new blog, Crashing Giants. I am hoping that this blog will be a journal of my journey to being the man that I am called to be. I am not posting this blog nor do I ever plan on discussing it with anyone. It is my own personal thoughts of this journey. I am hoping that someday I will be like David. I will be able to confront giants. I would also love to be called a "man after God's heart".

Because ultimately I know that the only way I am ever going to be happy with myself is if I live my life fully for Him.